You will find your people
🌙 Happy Lunar New Year!
Issue #256: the United States of Breakfast, midlife crises, and having fun
By Adeline Dimond
I was a lonely kid. My mother’s friend clocked this right away, and one day she grabbed my chin and made me face her. “You will find your people,” she said, not breaking eye contact.
And I did, but perhaps not all of us were so lucky. A few weeks ago The Atlantic reported that we’re more alone than ever (a condition not to be confused with loneliness). From 2020 to 2023, “in-person socializing” declined by more than 20 percent, but the decline started long before that. Possible causes: cars (allowing us to move further away from each other), a decline in public spaces, television, smartphones and — surprising no one — political debate on the internet, and not, say, during your kid’s soccer game. (For more on this, see our issue on the so-called “male loneliness epidemic.”)
While I felt sort of queasy reading the article, I couldn’t help but rebel a little bit and think, Yes, sure, of course… and yet it seems there is no better time in history to “find your people.” Exhibit A: Benjamin Rivers, a video game developer, and his friend set out on a road trip (think very specific buddy film in written form) to a “retro game convention,” or, as Benjamin describes it, “what two middle-aged nerds do to bond and get away from it all.”
At the convention they marveled over collectible games, broadcast video monitors (now highly sought after, who knew?), and a “complete-in-box Super Nintendo.” Benjamin’s haul included Wii games: Trauma Center: New Blood and Sakura Wars: So Long, My Love. But that’s not the important part. What’s important is that Benjamin has clearly found his people.
Put another way, this is a story about two geeks (said with great affection) who found a community of others like them — because they leaned into their shared love of something extremely specific. Stories like this abound. I believe all of us can all find our people. The first step is simple: Identify something you love, the more specific the better. A simple search (yes, even on your much maligned smartphone) will lead you to people who nerd out just as hard as you do over whatever it is you nerd out about. I guarantee these weirdos are waiting for you.
🍳 What else we’re reading
- Though the phrase “midlife crisis” wasn’t coined until 1965, its birth came with the Industrial Revolution and the rise of a middle class searching for meaning against the backdrop of looming death. For much of history before then, midlife was enjoyed and celebrated. (The Conversation U.S./Wise and Well)
- The U.S. might be divided in many ways, but on one thing all 50 states agree: Breakfast is awesome. (Linda Lum/Tastyble)
- Loved this writer’s reflection on Lunar New Year’s traditions and luck: “Each year, as the Lunar New Year approaches, I think of my father’s American dream and our Chinese cultural obsession with luck and fortune.” (Andrew Tsao/The Narrative Arc)
😂 Your daily dose of practical wisdom
When it comes to any creative project, fun will take you farther than desire ever could (Niklas Göke/The Writing Cooperative).
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Edited and produced by Scott Lamb & Carly Rose Gillis
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