Why we all need a third place

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3 min readOct 22, 2024

👋 Welcome back to the Medium Newsletter
Issue #190: how metaphors influence our perceptions, and RSS-ing your news sources
By Carly Rose Gillis

After a few weeks of using Duolingo to learn Irish, my partner wanted to find a way to level up his skills. We looked at various tutors (expensive!) or classes (far away!), but in talking to some family friends about our search, one replied, “Have you visited the group that meets at the local American Legion post?”

Those posts have always been a bit shrouded in mystery for me; if you’re not familiar with them, they are U.S. military veteran community centers that provide space for mentorship, events, and social services. When we went, the atmosphere was bright and convivial. The teacher, Dáithí (Dave, in Irish, pronounced “daw-hee”), immediately beckoned us to sit and marched us through the irregular verbs and tenses they were already practicing. The fellow learners warmly welcomed us and encouraged us to stay for the Irish dancing class (!) that was to follow. The cost of this experience? Whatever we could spare to give in a tip jar.

This is an example of a “third place.” First defined by U.S. sociologists Ramon Oldenburg and Dennis Brissett in 1982, these are spaces that host meaningful social interaction and personal development that are not “work/school” or “home.”

“Third places are spaces that anchor,” writes Tia Merotto on Medium. “They root us in our humanity and our identity in relation to others, reinforcing community through the respite and ease they offer.”

An important component of true third places is how they “level” the statuses of individuals within them — they are not fueled by socioeconomic gatekeeping; people are free to come and go without obligation or financial burden.

Unfortunately, because of that, they can be hard to sustain and are actively declining — and at a time when we may need them most, as frightening loneliness statistics and economic downturns continue to plague our lived reality. Portuguese writer Araci Matos recently opined on this in a Medium story, “Why We All Need a Third Place.

“The widespread adoption of remote work, exacerbated by the pandemic and initially seen as a marvel of not having to leave home, reveals itself as a poisoned gift. We are extremely lonely now, further intensified by a hidden factor that doesn’t get much attention: the lack of public investment in third places.”

Third places need active support to survive. Next time you are interested in developing a skill or honing a hobby, consider finding an IRL community rather than just another fee-based service or app. (Quick tip: A great place to start is your local library.)

One more story: about metaphors

I don’t think I truly understood how ingrained metaphors are in the English language until I read this piece by linguist Sophie Frankpitt. The central question of her story is: Does this practice of heavily using metaphors in our communication influence how we experience the world, or is it the other way around? Take the example of how we describe arguments in terms of literal war or fighting: “we fought our case” or “they were attacking us.” Does this influence how we approach disagreements in our lives? Says Frankpitt: “Theoretically speaking, if we conceptualize political issues as battles, perhaps we’re more likely to take polarized, antagonistic, uncompromising stances — maybe even normalizing undertones of political violence.”

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Edited and produced by Scott Lamb & Harris Sockel

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