The two-word trick to small talk: I’m curious
✈️🚆 Happy pre-Thanksgiving travel day to all who celebrate
Issue #216: podcasting is video now, design ethics, and standing out
Tomorrow, for the first time in over a decade, I’m doing Thanksgiving with a new crew: some close friends and their extended families. Like many of you in the U.S., I’ll be sitting down to inhale a bunch o’ carbs (and some protein) with at least a few people I’ve never met.
A few years ago on Medium, Dave Schools shared two magic words that cut through small talk and help you get to know people better: I’m curious. Talking to strangers is such an underrated skill (up there with cold emailing) and the holidays are an opportunity to practice. “What ‘I’m curious’ does is set the other person up for success,” Schools explains. “There’s no judgment, no ulterior motive. You simply want to learn.”
It worked for Schools. He tried it out one night at a house party he went to alone, and in short order met a group of Mennonites, a youth pastor, and a social worker who once served Mark Zuckerberg a whiskey ginger.
Speaking of curiosity: Tufts Public Opinion Lab, which analyzes public opinion surveys, found that ~62% of Americans have at least one family member who supports the opposing political party. Republicans were more likely to report having Democratic family members than vice versa, and Republicans were also more likely to report actively bringing up politics at the dinner table.
This tracks with previous studies finding that Democrats (a) belong to more politically homogenous social groups than Republicans, and (b) are less enthused about debating the opposing side. Tufts researchers write, diplomatically: “This might encourage Republicans to approach their political discussions in a more empathetic and patient way. And Democrats may learn that Republicans are often aiming to find common ground through these discussions rather than argue or fight.”
Let’s try to keep it civil (and curious) tomorrow, everyone!
👀 We’re reading…
- Podcasting is mostly video now, especially for listeners under 30. (Intelligencer)
- A designer’s code of ethics includes building the muscle of saying no. (Dike Thelma)
- For any vegetarians or vegans hosting Thanksgiving this year, here are 50 sides you can make without animal products. (Marla Rose)
👷 Practical wisdom
An underrated way to stand out at work, according to Adaobi Adibe: learn an undefined skill, something useful but not yet professionalized (like basic coding with GPT).
🐆 A note on yesterday’s newsletter
Yesterday, we made a regrettable faux paw (wow, sorry) in calling the leaping cat on Jaguar’s former logo a “cheetah.” (It’s a, uh, jaguar. They’re different.) Thanks, Nick Warren, for pouncing on that error in the comments.
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