What We’re Reading

How to Give Yourself Good Advice

Take a look at ‘third-party thinking’

Adrienne Gibbs
The Medium Blog
Published in
3 min readOct 27, 2023

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It’s the time of year when everyone has advice for you: on planning the rest of your year, buying Christmas presents for kiddies, and visualizing your best self. But author Anthony Robert suggests zooming out to go within.

“It’s called third-party thinking. Here’s how to use it,” Robert writes. “View yourself in the third party and watch your actions like a nosey neighbor peering through the blinds.”

Fellow writer Scott H. Young went the advice route by writing his 18-year-old self a checklist that was published in Mind Cafe.

Here’s #5: “Optimize for experience, not grades, in college: My biggest mistake in university was choosing to take classes in English, not French, during my year abroad. I was worried I wouldn’t keep up academically, so I chose the easier option. I didn’t realize I was also missing out on the best way to learn the language.”

And finally, an undergrad psych major’s take on advice is discussing the gift of self-grace while explaining how it is that no one has wasted their time. “To say that you ‘wasted’ your life is counter-productive,” writes Raine Lentz. “Growth is a process, not a state of being.”

What’s in process for you this season? Write about it and let us know. We’d love to highlight you in a future note.

Thanks for reading.

Adrienne Gibbs, Director of Content @ Medium

P.S. Earlier this month we asked the ghost story writers amongst you to share your newest work. Six dozen stories now populate the tag “GhostStories23” and they range from accounts of paranormal encounters to old-fashioned ghoulish tales. Take a spin if you dare.

What We’re Reading

Artwork: © Carlyn Beccia | www.CarlynBeccia.com

Carlyn Beccia asks us an important question → On What Occasion Do You Lie? Beccia posits that the 9th inquiry on the Proust Questionnaire can save (or destroy) relationships. This piece was published in Sexography.

Karen Marie Shelton analyzes “a disturbing, regressive, anti-feminist fantasy trend” in her Bitchy essay, “TikTokers are Romanticizing the Stay-at-Home-Girlfriend Experience.”

Barack Obama, 44th President of the United States of America offers his Thoughts on Israel and Gaza. Here’s what he says →

“In dealing with what is an extraordinarily complex situation where so many people are in pain and passions are understandably running high, all of us need to do our best to put our best values, rather than our worst fears, on display.”

This week’s final word is from writer Adeline Dimond, in a stellar essay that mashes a food review with the 9/11 terrorist attacks in New York City with memories of her dying father. It’s entitled “What We Think About When We Think About Red Lobster.” This essay ran in Sybarite.

There is nothing like a drink menu created by corporate headquarters. I ordered a margarita with a side shot of Grand Marnier. When it came, I was at a loss. “How do I do this?” I asked, staring up at the waitress for help.

“Honey, just shoot it or stir it in,” she said, smiling at me.

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Adrienne Gibbs
The Medium Blog

Director of Content @Medium. Award-winning Writer. Editor. Mother. Featured on Beyoncé's year in review film.