Anniversaries are reminders to check in on our past selves

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Issue #161: who we were on 9/11 and talking out your problems
By

Harris Sockel

“Recently, it struck me that my experience visiting the 9/11 Memorial now must be similar to what the Vietnam Memorial is like for those who lived through that war,” writes

Claudette Scheffold

in an essay published earlier this week. Scheffold’s dad was an FDNY first responder; he died that day, and the reflecting pools that draw more than 2 million visitors a year are where she goes to remember him.

“The first thing that hits me as I get close to the Memorial is the tourists,” Scheffold explains, and I’ve felt the same thing whenever I visit. We’re at a weird juncture in history now, when 9/11 is super immediate for some of us, yet it’s capital-H History for pretty much an entire generation. What I appreciate about Scheffold’s story is that she doesn’t judge the tourists with selfie sticks; she sees them as markers of time passing.

Anniversaries serve an important psychological purpose: They’re like checkpoints in time, reminders to pull over and remember the people we used to be. I revisit two stories again and again on 9/11. One of them is Michael Wright’s miraculous survival story — the North Tower collapsed on top of him, and he was shocked to find himself alive. Then, there’s

Alison Cupp Relyea

’s tale of living in Manhattan during and after 2001. It’s sort of a meta reflection, an essay about how her memories of that day have evolved over time. Every 9/11, she explains, is marked by “some other memory, a mix of sadness, nostalgia, loss, gratitude and hope that almost seems to define the word anniversary.”

💬 Your daily dose of practical wisdom: on talking it out

If you’re stuck on a problem, as

Avi Siegel

advises, try explaining it to an inanimate object or pet, like a rubber duck. (Programmers have been doing this for decades; it’s called Rubber Duck Debugging.) Literally teach them the problem from the very beginning — explain what’s working, what’s not, and why. You’ll probably stumble upon an answer as you go.

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Edited and produced by

Scott Lamb

&

Carly Rose Gillis

Questions, feedback, or story suggestions? Email us: tips@medium.com